I'd quit smoking, but I'm not a quitter. Win as a team, or get owned and lose as a team.

 

joshbyard:

Google X Lab Files Patent for Contact Lens With Built-In Camera

Google has invented a new smart contact lens with an integrated camera. The camera would be very small and sit near the edge of the contact lens so that it doesn’t obscure your vision. By virtue of being part of the contact lens, the camera would naturally follow your gaze, allowing for a huge range of awesome applications, from the basis of a bionic eye system for blind and visually impaired people, through to early warning systems (the camera spots a hazard before your brain does), facial recognition, and superhuman powers (telescopic and infrared/night vision). 

(via Google invents smart contact lens with built-in camera: Superhuman Terminator-like vision here we come | ExtremeTech)

I wish I was born either 60 years ago or 60 years in the future so I could see more cool shit like THIS.

joshbyard:

Google X Lab Files Patent for Contact Lens With Built-In Camera

Google has invented a new smart contact lens with an integrated camera. The camera would be very small and sit near the edge of the contact lens so that it doesn’t obscure your vision. By virtue of being part of the contact lens, the camera would naturally follow your gaze, allowing for a huge range of awesome applications, from the basis of a bionic eye system for blind and visually impaired people, through to early warning systems (the camera spots a hazard before your brain does), facial recognition, and superhuman powers (telescopic and infrared/night vision). 

(via Google invents smart contact lens with built-in camera: Superhuman Terminator-like vision here we come | ExtremeTech)

I wish I was born either 60 years ago or 60 years in the future so I could see more cool shit like THIS.

cracked:

If the insane, explosive popularity if superhero movies is any indication, we are fascinated by people who are insanely better than us at any given thing. Probably because, in real life, we’re all such a bunch of incompetent boobs that we’ve been enslaved by blue paint, flashing lights and crying French babies.
But it turns out, superpowers are real. And not just the secret ones that everyone has, or even the ones everyone thinks they have — this Cracked Classic is about a group of people that, in a sane world, would already have multi-colored leather jumpsuits, delightfully mismatched personality traits and a skyscraper shaped like whatever they decide to call themselves.
6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers

cracked:

If the insane, explosive popularity if superhero movies is any indication, we are fascinated by people who are insanely better than us at any given thing. Probably because, in real life, we’re all such a bunch of incompetent boobs that we’ve been enslaved by blue paint, flashing lights and crying French babies.

But it turns out, superpowers are real. And not just the secret ones that everyone has, or even the ones everyone thinks they have — this Cracked Classic is about a group of people that, in a sane world, would already have multi-colored leather jumpsuits, delightfully mismatched personality traits and a skyscraper shaped like whatever they decide to call themselves.

6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers

cracked:

Christina H doesn’t just write the truth. She draws it.
The 5 Most Annoying Pet Personalities

#5. The Cat That Talks to Ghosts
You may have at some point observed a cat that will walk up to a completely blank wall or corner and stare intently, meowing regularly. Cat experts will tell you that this is because cats have much more finely tuned senses of hearing, smell, and sight than we do, and they must be picking up one of these cues that are imperceptible to us oafish humans. They are wrong.
The cat is talking to ghosts.

Read More

cracked:

Christina H doesn’t just write the truth. She draws it.

The 5 Most Annoying Pet Personalities

#5. The Cat That Talks to Ghosts

You may have at some point observed a cat that will walk up to a completely blank wall or corner and stare intently, meowing regularly. Cat experts will tell you that this is because cats have much more finely tuned senses of hearing, smell, and sight than we do, and they must be picking up one of these cues that are imperceptible to us oafish humans. They are wrong.

The cat is talking to ghosts.

Read More

cracked:

palavra-valise:

cracked:

ABOVE: Exhibit A.
5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression

#4. Depression Just Means Being Sad
Some people end up with an anger trigger that the Hulk would consider extreme. That’s because one way to feel better about yourself is to make other people feel like shit, so a nice bout of telling your neighbor’s kid that his finger paintings look like they were done by a quadriplegic chimpanzee can be just the thing to pick you up. Sure, you’re still depressed, but at least you’re not a stupid idiot that can’t even paint a simple kitty cat. This is especially problematic, because friends and family will be less enthusiastic about reaching out to someone who might bite their hand off.

Read More

I was feeling really shitty today and then Cracked came along. How is it that a humor web site covers this subject so incredibly well?

I know right?

cracked:

palavra-valise:

cracked:

ABOVE: Exhibit A.

5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression

#4. Depression Just Means Being Sad

Some people end up with an anger trigger that the Hulk would consider extreme. That’s because one way to feel better about yourself is to make other people feel like shit, so a nice bout of telling your neighbor’s kid that his finger paintings look like they were done by a quadriplegic chimpanzee can be just the thing to pick you up. Sure, you’re still depressed, but at least you’re not a stupid idiot that can’t even paint a simple kitty cat. This is especially problematic, because friends and family will be less enthusiastic about reaching out to someone who might bite their hand off.

Read More

I was feeling really shitty today and then Cracked came along. How is it that a humor web site covers this subject so incredibly well?

I know right?